Amanda Bearse Fan Site

Married With Children : Fright Night


Amanda Bearse

“My mother took me to a psychiatrist when I was fifteen because she thought I was a latent homosexual.  There was nothing latent about it.”

“The most important political step that any gay man or lesbian can take is to come out of the closet. It’s been proven that it is easier to hate us and to fear us if you can’t see us.”

Marcy D’Arcy

Marcy: It’s just that I can hardly believe that I’m now mrs…

[Stalls, and turns towards Jefferson]

Marcy: Darling. What’s your last name?

Jefferson: D’Arcy

Marcy: [Turn slowly back towards Peggy] … Marcy D’Arcy… I’m now MARCY D’ARCY! What have I’ve done. Maybe I should start wearing little dresses with dots on them.

Marcy: All I know is I woke up this morning with a man in my bed. I don’t even know who he is.

Al: Well, that’s easy, he slept with you, he’s the stupidest man on earth.

Marcy: Al, you know what the difference is between Steve’s mother and a bowling ball? A bowling ball doesn’t have a beard!

Steve: It’s one hair. One hair doesn’t equal a beard.

Marcy: It is if it’s six inches long and shaped like the letter ‘V’.

Al: Someone stole my Dodge.

Marcy: Well it’s your own fault for leaving it out front on garbage day. I’ll bet somebody took it to start a new limousine service. You know, for those people who can’t quite afford the luxury of Greyhound.

Marcy: I do remember my first apartment. My roommate and I were both single, both bursting with ripe, flowering womanhood. The sexual revolution was in full swing and we were a-happening.

Peggy: Wow. I’ll bet you were having sex all the time.

Marcy: No, that cheap slut of a roommate stole all my boyfriends. I’ve never forgiven Mom for that.

Kelly: Help us!

Marcy: I can’t, I’m a Republican.

Marcy: Can you please tell me what a woman’s body has to do with selling beer?

Al: Pretty women makes us BUY beer. Ugly women makes us DRINK beer.

Marcy: Come upstairs and try to last longer than a new Fox sitcom.

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